Monday, February 2, 2015

Kill The Order




We are part of an ever expanding universe that grows every moment and we the cosmic travelers stand amazed in our little ignorance. How far will our race exist is another mystery covered under the sands of possibility. This whole universe; ever expanding and hidden from our intellect has some things that stand undeniable even at these enormous proportions. It preserves an order that exists in this interstellar chaos and voids of gravity. As a child reading of stars and planets made an image of the earth pasted on a path around the sun and its motion transforming our planet from springs to autumn.  There were times when Pluto was a planet and now it has lost its berth but it still traces the same path. The universal order happens to be more persistent than the human civilizations. Our Gods right from the Mayans to Incas and to the Aryans are just human interpretations of the universal forces that are beyond our dominance. Even at a micro level the things that are around us are atoms clustered in forms that just make “everything that is “. The atoms are ordered quarks and charges that is most of what the science has understood till now. Is there more to this order?   I guess the door of uncertainty is still left ajar.  When the bits don’t suffice to solve a puzzle and complete the picture, then the probability of a wrong starting assumption always exists. What i write here is not a matter of doubt but a matter of thought that some things beyond this comprehensible order are still dissonant.  We are complacent in this scheme of things because that is how we have seen the things and chips have added up in the knowledge that has came to us from  our human existence till date. This complacency blinds a free though and the free thought that ought to exist is bonded to this order.

We have questions and doubts poised on assimilated wisdom  of ages and generations that were. It only ensures that the thoughts remain inside the set parameters of the defined box.  Thoughts out of these bonds and  a world unknown will need us to unlearn the rules ,break the shackles  and  see this order no more ...

Wednesday, May 28, 2014



Alles, was ein Mensch sucht - die Liebe


Our existence is supplemented by some of the very basic needs deeply rooted in our conscience and demeanor alike.  Rest all that is human desire is deviations and some aberrations evolved along with the evolution of man and his faculties.  The most amazing aspect in the whole bunch that has mystified the civilizations is LOVE. In purest form it is a bond that makes us human and ceases the singularity of a persistent entity.  Love has been a driver of human actions and his accomplishments. It rises from a human mind and weaves a dream of completeness of being in an associated state. The impact is deep and perennial. 

We live, we experience joys and pains, endure sufferings and survive a lifetime with the dreams we see and the memories we create. Even animals show the emotions of affections and need. Over the ages of our human presence, the ways of human civilizations have moved towards change. In all the times that are recorded in the history and the times that we have been a witness to, love has changed a greater deal of our existence and social landscape. I have seen the love through the eyes of a mother caring for its child; sharing things with a sibling; meeting a girl who fills the voids in my completion. No emotion has even been so strong, complete and in its purest form – so powerful.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Holy Smoke







 
“We gaze with perplexity at the highest part of the spiral of force that governs the Universe. And we call it God. We could give it any other name: Abyss, Mystery, Absolute Darkness, Total Light, Matter, Spirit, Supreme Hope, Supreme Despair, Silence.
“But we call it God, because only this name – for some mysterious reason – is capable of making our heart tremble with vigor.
“And let there be no doubt that this trembling is absolutely indispensable for us to be in contact with the basic emotions of the human being, emotions that are always beyond any explanation or logic”.
                                                                              Nikos Kazantzakis

GOD the word in itself arouses different emotions for every mind washed in varied thoughts. The God in concept is more vivid and splendid than the existential and athiestical doctrines. The force behind everything and the omnipresent creator who pulls all the strings; the word only owns more synonyms than anything else. The existence of God is like gravity that we know as a pulling force that keeps us bound to earth and the awareness of it makes us more logical about it, but even the most ignorant souls are pulled alike by earth. It’s how we know it in the ubiquity of this existence and the constant discovery of this self. The God is understood and attained in this moment of no thought and absence of a desire. Ignorance shrouds the human conscience and mans’ growth from this ignorance to the attainment of this higher thought composes in itself the attainment of enlightenment.



I have known God in most omnipresent and supreme forms and at times in my life i am drawn closer to the supreme force. I pray and I ask forgiveness for the acts of living that defy the moral codes .But even delved into this ignorance; I would always see God as a refuge to my helplessness and inabilities at life. I make choices and live them in the material forms, I hope for the tide in my favor. I leave reason and rationality at bay in incertitude of this living. I was born in flesh & blood and I live with that and one day that ceases to be. I am a motley of thoughts and emotions that are products of the humane realizations .In this whole space and time of a life, do I control things and my choices and the choices that I inherit?



In every form and ways that we exist, we are the creatures and we struggle for a life in the ways we have it and the shapes in which we craft it.  We are just making a delta shift to the whole human scheme. My existence neither drives humanity nor does the absence of me.

Still the question Crying out of me is . I AM ...

Saturday, August 20, 2011

TWO minutes ...

Every single moment in love without the lover passes like an unbearable age without a name and every hour with the lover seems to pass like the flash of a thunder that u can’t even feel it to be passing. Time does frame a good moment and when the time is only 2 minutes, it can get imbibed indelibly deeper and longer ...

That’s all I had; just 2 minutes to see the love of my life and that too on a moving train. It was the August 15 the day of our independence that was the same day when some of the founding fathers of this nation had declared us to be free, that eventually happens to be the less appreciated fact among the most because we are born free. There I was getting up at 5 AM on a rainy morning when the pouring rains were looking unstoppable. It all had started on 13th Aug when she told me about going home by the Swaraj Express and the next moment the thought that does the train pass through Delhi? and when?? Maybe we can meet up or something. But the surprise rang and the my city was a stop for just 2 MINUTES in its route. So there was the rush of the joy that a lovers soul feels anticipating the moments of an ensuing meet. I searched the internet and figured out the timings and planned a thing and the 2 minutes to come. The next day a Sunday was spent fidgeting. Even the dialogues in the movie and that blonde hair girl at the MC Donald’s couldn’t draw me out of the thoughts of that awaited moment. Suffering is the another self inflicted joy in love it at least helps us flavor every moment of this life and appreciate that living for something is better than just being a mobile load of flesh and blood . So we talked that night as was the ritual over the most mundane things and just people. This was the way it had been for the past 9 months and 4 days and every single moment of it was spent with the ecstasy and suffering that love extends to us .The love has a different craziness in which u are aware and conscious of everything that u do but u still like to see oneself and your social behaviour being drifting apart from rational .The stupidity seems sensible for I don’t know what reason.

The alarm that never got snoozed and just gave me the instant kick to get up and get running. I could still hear the drops of rain that made noises all night on my window .I had to get to the station and it was raining , I didn’t have an umbrella , the roads were flooded, the fickle chances of getting a rickshaw and the accessories of the troubles ; But that’s what I should have thought and that I was not . I was a lost lover and my thoughts could see only her and there was a fix in them .So I set out on the walk quite a long one and I was the stupid cat in the rains. I had a packet that had things and letters that carried the words that my soul owed to her. I was all so drenched in next 10 minutes and the water drops were slipping down my glasses and the sole option that i had was to get them off. Now I was soaked and I was at the station, desperately waiting for the train .There was no announcement system and the sole display on the platform was dead .So after some enquiries i knew the designated platform .But I was still in the rain that was now dripping down the open ends of my shirt. I called her up and figured out that train was a bit late, around 15 minutes. The wait was getting tougher. So I chose to get to one of the ends of the platform as I anticipated the her AC coach to halt on that side. The time was less and there were so many thoughts and words that i couldn’t gather and choose what to say and each one was reading its anxiousness to rush out of me. So the train arrived and the accompanying disaster happened; I had to run to the other end as the coach was the pen ultimate one. I made the run like every souls around me acting like the warriors in a mayhem . It was raining hard, I was on the phone and I started to feel breathless. Even at a distance she was out of sight. Summoning up the energy in me. I ran faster that I ever could except miracles , I was running for something that I felt my soul has waited for all the ages .Finally I saw her and I ran faster now. There she was, i was speechless, breathing fast and water dripping down my face could hardly add to my drenched miseries. The first word I said was “I Love You So much “; she looked at me and smiled and replied back , “ I love you “. I don’t remember when I handed over the packet, but I did. She said something that just was filling the voids in my soul. The train started moving and we had exhausted the 40 seconds of the meeting. Time was up and she was on the door. I held the bar on the door as the train was catching up speed. I repeated my words of love and i kissed her lips, the water on my face and her still expressions made it perfect .My soul was feeling the beauty and the pleasure of the moment that it had waited for ages .I got off as the train was moving faster now and I was running along the moving train looking in her eyes, her changing emotions of joys of the transient meeting and the consequential pain of separation. Had the time fixed in that moment would have gave up all the promised joys of a lifetime for it. Then the train proved faster than me and all i could see was her face fading in the distance and the pour of the rain drops that were washing my me and my helplessness with the hard breathing that took time to settle and I was for sure the most stupid incident in that place in that moment and crazy in love, but i guess that was not my thought ....finally the train was a matter of the red signal that was getting dimmer and dimmer with flow of time...